Thursday, March 15, 2012

A Battle Most Imminent

"I, Dolpheus Thewd, do once again take pen in hand, to give a right and true account of the current state of affairs in that most hidden of kingdoms, Unkerlant. Borogravia, led by that scoundrel Prince Ruprect, tried and failed to make gains into the Arch Duchy of Volborg. He tried another route by invading the county of Durmwald, a staunch ally of Volborg. 
General Wulfe, leading the Volborgan army, left the protection of the Duchy to come to Durmwald's aid.
Having crossed the country from my previous location on Zlobenia, I can state without a doubt once again that for what passes for a road in this miserable little country is appalling. My guide and I were forced on several occasions to change carriages as each one was wrecked over the course of our travels. My stomach aches from the limited and sometimes strange food of these people.
The county of Durmwald is bordered on three sides by either rivers or mountains, and as such has always been an isolated place inside what is an isolated country. It is filled with dark pines and lonely meadows. Durmwald is known for its oxen, and it's equally thick headed people. This is an unjust assessment as I found most Durmwalders by nature a serious, contemplative people unused to new ideas in their remote land. They are extremely loyal. Durmwald has long been an ally of neighboring Volborg. Where Volborg goes to war, so too does Durmwald.
As our latest carriage crested a rise into yet another valley a terrible smell hit us. My companion leaned over to say "Blech!"
"Yes, I know, the smell is awful", I said.
"No" he explained, and pointed to a small town next to a river below. "Blech".
Blech it turned out would be my home for next few days. Whereas the rest of Durmwald spends most of its time raising cattle, Blech is where those cattle end up. The tanning of hides, it turns out, involves a great deal of urine and feces. This has left the people of Blech, and their town, shunned by almost everybody. Personally, despite my guides assurances, I never got used to the smell.
The forces of Volborg had already gathered on the plains north of Blech. Fortunately for them, upwind. General Wulfe had gathered most of Volborg's forces to stop Borogravia. He cut a dashing figure on his white steed, a red coat amongst all the yellow uniforms of Volborg.
I was treated with the parade through town late in the afternoon, as Count Dietrich Von Durmwald himself led the vaunted Durmwald Grenadiers out to battle. There would be a fight, and soon it seemed. Borogravian troops were massing to the east."
A Durmwald Grenadier
From: My Travels and Travales in Unkerlant by Dolpheus Thewd, published just after his disappearance in 1714


Fitz-Badger said...

ha ha, excellent! I really like your map, too.

Essjam said...

Nice story Baron, with a slobber knocker of a battle. Can't wait to see the report

BaronVonJ said...

Monday. I'm at home today w/o access to decent computer, but it was good. That scoundrel Ruprect!

Bill said...

Good battle, but I screwed up. I should have put the allies in front of the grenadiers and let them soak up the casualties. Then the grenadiers might have had a chance.
The more I play those rules the more I like them.

Essjam said...

Bill , I think we have played these about 3 or 4 times now.. There are little things that I am getting used too as well. Like Cav vs inf is not as strong as later periods. I am beginning to like these rules too.

I got lucky with the Irish Regiment, they inflicted a lot of damage. We will have to do this again soon